Momentum

Obama's momentum stopped cold when Clinton won Texas. With the primary in Pennsylvania sure to go to Clinton, everyone expected a drawn-out fight until there was a clear front runner. But, somehow, things have turned so that Obama is once again in a position of strength. Even though he's still expected to lose Pennsylvania, the only large state left in play, the party is lining up behind him. Maybe it was his speech on race, or maybe it was Clinton's negative ads backfiring. But Obama has maneuvered so that he is still the front runner, even though he will surely lose the next primary. And there did not appear to be anything political about it, no fingerprints from the Obama campaign. That's political skill the Clintons will never be able to replicate.

Who Am I?

During one of his many benders, Pete Townshend once got so drunk in London that he passed out in a gutter in Soho. The police officer who found him recognized him, and told Townshend that he would let him go if he could get home by himself. Townshend went home and wrote "Who Are You," a friggin amazing song.

This got me thinking. Who am I? What song would best represent who I am and the values that I hold? Then it hit me, as clear as the gawker link that Irene sent me.

Click here for clarity.

P.S. - Everyone check out Mary's new blog, Never Negotiate With Toddlers (love that name!). It's gonna be awesome.

Preventing 9/11

Nilda, knowing me to be "interested" in the history surrounding 9/11, got me "The Commission," a book written by a NY Times journalist about the 9/11 Commission, as a Valentine's Day gift. Yes, how romantic. It's a thorough and well written and, from what I've seen so far, focuses on the FBI and the Bush administration's efforts to hide or suppress failings from the Commission.

One item that stood out was the events leading up to the attack, and how the FBI had a hard time forgiving itself for its failings. For example:

• Zacarias Moussaui was arrested in Missouri in August 2001 near a flight school after alarming instructors by asking to learn how to take off and land a 747, even though he had no basic knowledge of flying. One agent said, weeks before the attack, that it seemed like a terrorist might "fly a plane into the World Trade Center."
• FBI HQ ignored the pleas of Minnesota agents for a court warrant to inspect his laptop, which could have revealed the plot. Upon learning of this, a senior aide to the Director vomited in the bathroom.
• In July 2001, an FBI agent from Phoenix sought to open up a nationwide investigation as to why so many young Arab men with connections to radical Muslim groups were seeking commercial flight training. His counterterrorism supervisors in Washington failed to read his memo.
• A veteran FBI informant in San Diego knew two young Saudi men who had been boarders in his house, both of whom would be hijackers in the jet that crashed into the Pentagon. No one at the FBI asked the informant to probe into their backgrounds.
• The FBI received a new Director just days before 9/11, Robert Mueller. The prior Director, Louis Freeh, was notorious for wanting only good news and for "killing the messenger."
• The famous President's daily briefing on August 6, 2001, titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US," which was also ignored.

Governor What's His Name

So I'm on the treadmill at the gym tonight (honest!), and they have NY1's "Inside City Hall" on the televisions. The governor was answering questions and I'm following the closed captioning. They ask him tough questions, and I'm impressed with his answers. He's honest about trying marijuana and cocaine in his early 20s and actually seems to have a sense of humor.

I like this governor. I respect him for what he's accomplished without sight, and his humor and candor over the past few weeks have brought a refreshing sense of reality to state politics. I've never been interested in Albany before, even though I liked Spitzer, and for the first time, I want to know what's happening in Albany. That's mostly because I want to follow this governor.

Then I realize that I can't remember his name. I'm not even sure if I ever knew his name. Then I remember that his name is Paterson. His name is Paterson, right? But it doesn't really matter because I've never actually heard him speak. I've seen news reports about him and read quotes in the paper, but I've never heard his voice. Reading this closed captioning is the closest I've come to actually listening to his voice.

So how can I have an actual opinion about this governor if I know so little about him? Do I have enough information, or am I just blindly following what the media tells me? Then again, why do I even need to hear his voice? For centuries, the masses had opinions about leaders without even seeing what they looked like. But has the access to information changed what it takes to be independent about current events?

Then my scalp gets cold, the treadmill seems to get faster and I could care less about the governor. Yeah, I overdid it at the gym, tonight.

Justice Douchebag: Update

I guess thinks work out after all, sometimes. Apparently, the team of the deaf student who participated in the oral argument, from Kentucky University Law School, actually won the competition. The deaf student, Scott Van Nice, was actually featured in the New York Law Journal and won the award for outstanding oral argument. Huh.

The Most Important Blog In The Country On Obama's Speech

Help! Help! I'm being held hostage! Nilda is making me watch Obama's speech and forcing me to write a blog post about it, and I can't finish watching John Adams until I do:

• The speech did exactly what it had to do. It took the focus away from the Pastor's comments and shifted it to race issues that persist in America.
• No other politician would be able to make this speech. Only a black man who has somehow found a way to connect with white audiences without scaring them (I think it's the white grandparents), would be able to come up with the right chemistry to address race in such a blunt manner. It makes you wonder just how deep an Obama presidency might go to changing the country.
• Instead of trying to distance himself from from the pastor and the church, he connected it to its polar opposite, his white grandmother who held biased feelings, then found herself raising a black grandchild. He used the church to illustrate a side of the country that many don't see.
• He was right to defend the church he's belonged to for so many years. Simply abandoning it, while safe and easy, would have made him look weak. Still, though, he called Jeremiah his "former" Pastor.
• The speech felt important. You can see high school history students reading it 50 years from now. You gotta love an Obama speech.
• Not sure how I feel about the time of day he chose to make the speech. Doing it in the morning gave him the day's headlines, but it also limited the speech's audience to commentary and a few snippets. Then again, he never would have been able to make a 40 minute speech in primetime.
• Obama's speech turned him into the anti-racism candidate, that a vote for him is a vote against racism. He turned the mere fulfillment of his platform (schools, jobs, healthcare), into the remedy for racism.
• This is exactly the kind of speech that I would want a President to give. Doesn't try to hide race, doesn't sugar coat it, but addresses it head on and gives a path to correct it.
• I can't help but see a connection between the sudden interest in Adams and the Obama campaign. John Adams was known for speaking and had a remarkable talent for calling others to action, and despite his inexperience, he made a remarkable contribution. Let's see how this one turns out.
• For those who are interested, here's the full video. It's like a line at Disney. It's long, but it moves quick:
  
  

Dune or The Dark Crystal?

1. Essence! Drink her essence!
2. Usul no longer needs the Wierding module
3. Damn the spice!
4. So...my hand.
5. Trial by stone!
6. Tell them Gelflings want to make peace with Skeksies.
7. Usul has called a big one. It is the legend.
8. It wasn't your fault. The Gartham have always come.
9. The shard. You must find the shard.
10. But I don't want to be alone.
11. Do you smell it?
12. And who is the little one? A pet, perhaps?
13. What they see, the Skeksis see, too.
14. Get out of my mind!
15. Our time has come. A storm brews. Our storm.

I'm giving everyone a 24-hour head start, then Andrew is allowed to solve it.

Two Things

Nilda found an article about a study concluding that identical twins do not share the same DNA. While identical twins - but fraternal twins aren't really "twins," are they? - start with the same DNA, individual variations over time alter the genetic makeup of the individuals, so that adult twins are not truly identical. While this may not be a big deal for most people, this is life altering for me. It strips me of one of my best punch lines! Does this mean that I'm not technically Lilah's genetic father? What will I say to people Andrew work with who meet me for the first time? How am I supposed to explain how Andrew and I remember the same random movie quotes?

On a completely unrelated note, here's a website Matt From Work found listing interesting sites on Google maps. Party.

Sexual Harassers

There are many different archetypes of sexual harassers. Here are just a few:

The really nice guy. This is just a great guy. In his 30s, really friendly, does really nice things for people. And he's funny, too! Away from his supervisors, he's cracking all kind of HILARIOUS jokes about the secretaries! This guy is crazy! Ha ha ha! So when one of the lower level women complains, you don't take it too seriously. But when she won't shut up about it, then you have a problem that you have to get rid of. And you have to get HR involved to make it look legit. These make great retaliation cases against the harasser's boss. Well after the complaints are made, the harasser will be fired for (a) sexual harassment, (b) stealing from the company, or (c) being insubordinate to the same exact guy who had previously protected him.

The guy who hates women. He's a gruff, older man, probably white, who's the boss. He makes a lot of money and is extremely important. He brings in a lot of money to the company and has more clout than his supervisor. He makes comments like, "she's a stupid woman," or "Do your boobs make you stupider?", generally demeaning comments about male and female body parts. It's about women, not about sex, so be on the lookout for a pregnancy or gender case with this one.

The guy who falls in love. These guys are married, in their 40s, and work as mid-level executives who get performance evaluations. They travel in packs. They spend a lot of time at the office but also like to have a drink or two after work, or on business trips, where you can go to strip clubs. The wives stay home and take care of the kids. That's their job. These guys have CRAZY holiday parties, but even wilder conventions and retreats. These guys work with women about their ages, sometimes significantly younger, and they respect these women as their equals. That's because these women are really, really good at their jobs. This turns these guys ON. One will ultimately go too far, she will complain, and the company will mess the whole thing up, either by giving the woman a bad performance evaluation or picking on her for bullshit. HR is the bad guy in this case, not the harasser. The harasser turns into the idiot who got the company into this mess in the first place. He will be given some kind of warning or penalty, but will never be fired.

The disgusting moron. This guy is not well educated and makes absolutely disgusting comments to all the women he sees, knowing that it upsets them. These kinds of harassers generally work in packs, so if you see one, there are probably a bunch more around. One of them was probably promoted to supervisor. The anti-discrimination policy isn't worth the paper its written on. The women don't complain because the company visibly permits this to happen. Complaining would just lead to retaliation, and they need their jobs.

What Song Is This?

1. Highways jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive.
2. Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit.
3. If there's a reason, its lost on me. Maybe we'll be friends. I guess we'll see.
4. Yesterday I felt so old, I thought that I could cry.
5. Half of what I say is meaningless. But I say it just to reach you, Julia.
6. Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me. I think they're ok.
7. I want to run through the halls of my classroom. I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
8. Well the names have all changed since you hung around. But those dreams have remained, and they've turned around.
9. God damn, you half Japanese girls. Do it to me every time.
10. Look at what's happened to me. I can't believe it myself.
11. Although she may be cute, she's just a substitute because you're the permanent one.
12. If you've never stared off into the distance, then you're life is a shame.
13. Invisible air waves crackle with life. Bright antenna bristle with the energy.
14. Freezing, rests his head on a pillow made of concrete.
15. She's my soft-touch typewriter and I'm the great dictator.
16. I don't want to wonder if this is a blunder. I don't want to worry whether we're going to stay together till we die.
17. Load up on guns, bring your friends. It's fun to lose and to pretend.
18. You may find out that your self doubt means nothing was ever there. You can't go forcing something if its just not right.
19. Thank God for mom and dad for sticking two together, 'cause we don't know how.
20. I never meant to be so bad to you. One thing I swore that I would never do.

Good luck!

Public Service Announcement

ACT now! The universe is expanding at such an escalating SPEED that the expansion will ultimately pull galaxies apart faster than the speed of light. This means that in just 100 billion years, we will not be able to SEE other galaxies, and will only be able to observe the stars within our own supergalaxy, formed by the merger of the milky way and nearby galaxies. Our descendants WILL not be able to see anything beyond our own galaxies but a dark, endless void.

WRITE your congressmen and urge them to STOP the expansion of the universe NOW! JOIN the grassroots campaign to say NO to gravity's negative impact on family values, and YES to deceleration. Who knows what knowledge has already sped away, beyond our sight? Only with YOUR HELP can we PROTECT our children's future.

Keith Olbermann's Special Comment on Hillary

I'm not one to generally get involved with politics (I'm just a country lawyer), but here's Keith Olbermann's recent comments on Geraldine Ferraro, which, incidentally, he stole from me:

Future Blog Posts

Here are some posts, currently under construction:

• I Heart My Blog
• Dune v. The Dark Crystal, Part II
• I Love My iPhone. I Just Don't Have It Yet.
• Why Desmond Is The Most Interesting Character On Lost
• My Favorite Material Possessions
• On the Origin of Species
• What Song This Lyric Is From?
• The (Self-Aggrandizing) Patriotism of Michael Moore
• Ooo, What's That Smell?
• I Have Too Much Time On My Hands

These are important topics. The public needs to know, Nilda!

Lessons on Objectivity

Today, I explained to an intern the tone to use when writing a complaint. I told her that while you need to use the facts to present your case in the light most favorable to your client, you cannot cross the line of blatantly spinning those facts and coming across as propaganda. Essentially, you need to give the appearance of being objective, even if you're not. Like MSNBC.

This just in: Geraldine Ferraro has just announced the commencement of the race war. Jews, you know what to do.

Spitzer

Wow. You know? Hmmm. Where am I supposed to go with this one? Here is a guy who has everything going for him, who just got it together after a tough first year as governor, and he has to go and fuck it all up with a prostitution ring. A prostitution ring! Couldn't he have done something a little cleaner? Like sex with an intern or a heroin addiction? Only Republicans can get away with prostitutes, dummy! And how did you get a $400 credit?!?!

Spitzer was great and I'm still trying to figure this out. He was the only state attorney general who became a national player and had a real shot at becoming president. Yeah, he's Jewish, but he looks like a wasp. The one thing I remember from AP History was that the most popular job to hold before running for US President was the Governor of NY. (Nilda points out that the state with the most presidents is Ohio. Thank you, Nilda.), and Spitzer was on his way. Now I have to throw away my "Spitzer 2016" posters, just when I had the design down the way I wanted it!

The real victim in all this is his wife (not to mention his kids). Can someone tell me what the point was in having her stand next to him looking like she just got run over by a truck? That just seemed unfair, especially since she's kind of a hottie (definitely a milf). Ah, Silda...maybe you just had your price point too high. Zing!

Momentum

Things are gonna change, I can feel it (what song is that from?):

• Despite his loss in Texas, once the caucus votes are tabulated, Obama is going to gain more delegates out of that state than Hillary.
• Dropping Powers from the campaign was a smart move, since it killed the story. But it's a shame that Obama lost her. She is a Pulitzer prize winning Harvard professor (and a WOMAN!), and would have been a huge asset to his campaign.
• Hillary wants to get Obama into a knife fight. No one beats her at her level. He needs to find a way to keep his ideals and fend off her attacks at the same time.
• After Obama wins Wyoming and Mississippi, things are going to shift again.
• Hillary's talk about being in the lead is a mirage. She'll never catch up in delegate votes.
• The superdelegates will not make Hillary the nominee. It would be a coup away from the voters that would split the party. Whatever happens, Obama will have to sign off.
• The only way that Nilda will vote for Hillary is if she's on the ballot with Obama, as #2.
• I have no idea what to do about Florida and Michigan.
• The spellchecker needs to add "Obama" and "superdelegates" to its dictionary.

Please note that the opinions expressed herein are just mine and, therefore, should not be taken too seriously. Really, there's no need to have everyone getting all pissed off in their postings. Right, Corey? And what did happen to me that made me so pro-Obama? I'm still figuring out how I got so invested in a campaign.

Justice Douchebag

Once again, I was a judge for New York Law School's moot court competition tonight. The panel was two of us and a partner of ____ & ____, a white shoe firm, who's also an adjunct at NYLS.

The first competitor, from a law school down south, was deaf and argued through two interpreters: one to translate what he was saying; one to translate for him what was being said. Needless to say, I was remarkably impressed that this kid had the balls to enter a moot court competition. His being selected to represent his school in this competition confirmed his ability. My first reaction was to give him a perfect score just for entering, but then I thought that I'd show more respect by judging him based on his performance, and he was very good. He knew his stuff and was very prepared to argue, and I know I'm a tough bench.

So we're giving our feedback after the argument, and wouldn't you know that the reaction of this asshole from ____ & ____ is that this student is "at a disadvantage" because of his "situation." He says that this student is unable to "stress" certain points with his voice, and needs to figure out a way to "level the playing field."

What a fucking dick! Here is this student, who has had to work harder than anyone else in the room, and doing a freakin' great job at it, and this guy has to throw it back in his face that he's deaf. Like he doesn't know. Friggin' idiot. As I write this now, Nilda is telling me that I'm typing too loud. I told this student that I thought the playing field was definitely level, that he had no problems stressing certain points, and that he was very effective, which he was. Schwartz's reaction was great: "Classic ____ & ____."

Moral of the story: don't let anyone tell you what you can't do.

Post Mortem

Andrew's comments aside, I had a terrible day. It's not like Hillary had a huge gain, since she only won 4 more delegates than Obama on the day. Also Obama's still ahead of her in total delegates, and is mathematically guaranteed to remain ahead throughout the primaries.

But it was hard to see Hillary and the media talk about "momentum" and how Obama getting a hit, which isn't even true. Yes, I know the arguments that the media went easy on Obama, but I was still moping around the office. It's like watching the Eagles miss the playoffs. Things are so bad that - seriously - I donated money to the Obama campaign, without having Nilda tell me to. I shit you not!

In all fairness, here's what I like about Hillary:

• She's strong and holds her own in an argument.
• She's decisive, like tater tots.
• She represents the fullfilment of the dream of the 60s feminists, and her election would be a true breakthrough for women.
• She would surround herself with smart and qualified people, including Bill.
• I trust that she would make the right decisions, from public policy and judicial selections to military actions.
• There's no way she would get pushed around by the Republicans.

Here's what I don't like about Clinton:

• She's so politically shrewd that her decisions could at least be perceived as being politically motivated.
• She doesn't inspire me to do anything. Not sure if this is a related point, but I don't like the sound of her voice.
• She's a divisive figure and would lead us back to the culture wars of the 90s.
• She'll say whatever she needs to win an election. She can't even decide what baseball team she roots for!
• Her election is guaranteed to continue the partisian battles that I'm so sick of after two decades of Clintons and Bushes.

Here's looking forward to Obama's wins in Wyoming and Mississippi! Let that sink in until Hillary routs him in Pennsylvania.

The Most Important Blog In The Country Speaks About Super Tuesday II

It's the close of Super Tuesday II, and nothing's changed. Let's recap what we've learned:

• There are no "elders" in the Democratic Party to tell Hillary not to run. The name "Clinton" alone gives her a clout that no one else can top. The most senior-ranking Democrat is Bill Clinton, and we know where he stands. Who's going to stop her, Nancy Pelosi? The answer is no. The only ones with any power to stop her campaign are the Superdelagates, which is exactly why they were created in the first place.
• As much as the press has favored Obama, they are still considering her as a viable candidate, even though she lost 11 in a row. Once again, she receives this special treatment only because her last name is "Clinton."
• Looking beyond tonight, Clinton has a long way to go until Pennsylvania on April 22. The only contests are Mississippi, where Obama is heavily favored, and Wyoming, which has caucuses, Obama's specialty. Unless Obama's momentum shifts dramatically, she will not be able to sustain her campaign.
• "White ethnics" = "white trash."
• Clinton's argument about "letting all the voters have a say" only applies when she's losing. Notice how she has no problem being nominated by the Superdelagates.
• Check out David Brooks' column in the NYTimes today, talking about how Hillary represents the traditional candidate who will fight, where Obama represents a fundamental change in politics.
• Clinton should not say she "won" Michigan. Obama wasn't even on the ballot.
• "Solutions" = boring.
• Clinton's strategy in Texas tonight appears to be based on questioning the fairness of the caucuses, which Obama is favored to win. While this tactic may work in the short term, it will only affirm the negative opinions many have against her. Right, Irene?
• And, of course . . . BANG BANG BANG!!!

Prediction For Tonight

Clinton will win both Texas and Ohio. Whether they were correct or not, her attacks on him over the weekend and especially yesterday were effective and will cause people to question his ability to withstand the Republican assaults. It will be a good night for Hillary, but not enough to get her back into the race in a manner that will carry her the seven weeks until Pennsylvania. Things are going to get harder for Obama. Unless, of course, he debuts a brilliant speech tonight, transcending the points he's already made.

A Baby Carriage Bill of Rights

Oh, I'm sorry, did I block the sidewalk right in your path? I apologize for the inconvenience, but, as you see, I have a baby carriage. Therefore, I can do whatever I want. You see, having a baby carriage gives me certain privileges that you, as a mere non-baby carriage civilian, cannot enjoy. Should I be required to stop abruptly in the middle of traffic because I decided that I need something RIGHT NOW, you will simply have to wait. In fact, you can tell that what I'm doing is really, really important because of the sheer girth of my particular baby carriage. Maybe one day - if you're lucky - you will own a baby carriage, and the accompanying right to own the sidewalk. Until then, please get out of my way and accept your place as a second-class, non-baby carriage pushing sucker. And sorry for the inconvenience.

Magic Mormon Underwear

Bill Maher is talking about Mormon underwear again. I had never heard about the underwear before this election, but that's nothing a youtube search can't fix. This one isn't as funny as I was hoping, but it's definitely informative.



Weird. What's up with Bill Maher's skinny ties?