My mom stayed with us for a week and it was glorious. The nicest words my mother has ever said to me are "Go back to sleep." We set up the aerobed, made room for her dental and facial products and set the DVR to record Dr. Oz, Nightline and Downton Abbey, and we were good to go. Nilda and I were even able to go out to dinner at night just the two of us. And Charlie luuuuuved having his Mommom stay with us. He would smile and talk to her all the time.
The best part of having Mom stay was that she was part of the team. She helped out, instead of trying to do everything, and would let us relieve her when she was up for over an hour. I started to think that the three of us might do ok raising Charlie. It was hard to say goodbye to her, but my Dad was starting to fall apart without her. My mom is not simply "welcome" back here, she is wanted and missed. I wish I could show more pictures of Charlie with my mom, but I was directed (i) not to take pictures in the first place, (ii) to delete most of the ones I took and (iii) advised that I'd risk Mom ever coming back if I showed the ones I have. I ain't gonna mess with that last one.
Best Mommom Ever is not to be confused with "Best Abuela Ever." Stella has been wonderful and is extremely helpful. I asked Stella what she was giving up for lent. She looked at me like I was crazy then said, "Men."
Having Stella and my mom here has been important because things here haven't been exactly easy. Nilda has not been feeling well, and the Grandma Patrol has been extremely helpful. Luckily, Charlie is a gorgeous and relatively easy baby. He doesn't throw up, rarely poops, and does a pretty good job of sleeping from 8:00 pm to 8:00 am, with a 1 to 1.5 hour feeding sometime between 2:00 am and 4:00 am. He's also smiling and is generally adorable. Earlier this week, he rubbed his eyes for the first time when he was tired and it was seriously the cutest thing I have ever seen.
The only thing he hates is naps. He can yawn and kick and give all his cues, but once he goes into his room for a nap then oh my god it's like he's being taken to hell and he has to fight it every step of the way. He cries and screams and wiggles his body as much as possible, getting his Wolverine-like claws/nails right into your chest, even though you've got the collar in your mouth to protect yourself from that exact kind of attack. Hopefully, he exhausts himself and falls asleep in your arms. And he knows exactly when you're going to try to put him down and will wake up just as you're bending over. He's like Santa. When we finally do get him down, luckily he can sleep for hours.
You will say who cares about the naps when he sleeps through the night, and you would be right. The big change came when my sister suggested putting him on his side in the nap nanny at night. It has sides so we can put him on his side without risk of him falling on his stomach. For the newbies, you can't put a baby on his stomach to sleep because they might get stuck with their faces down, since they don't have neck control. The thought is that this was a large cause of SIDS. It's ironic that babies are supposed to sleep on their backs now, since my mom tells me that all of her kids slept on their stomachs and that she only put us on our backs to wake us up.
All in all, I officially declare that things are going well. Since I can't watch tv in the middle of the night, I've started reading 11/23/63 (an actual book!) and I can't put it down. There are things that I keep meaning to do, but either don't have time or don't want to spend the time doing, like blogging, taking pictures and printing pictures, but I've got most things under control. Last night was Saturday night and we were in bed by 10:30. Things are as crazy as this. One other thing about Charlie is that he's a great burper. My mom says he reminds her of my Uncle Marty. I tried to catch it on video, but he burped before I even turned on the camera. Here's the outtake.
Ah, my blog. How I neglect you. I have often thought about how nice it would be to blog certain events. First bath in the bathroom sink for Charlie. Putting up the crib last Thursday night. Charlie's first trip to Red Lobster. But as soon Charlie's asleep and I have the opportunity to write, all I can think is RUN, NILDA!!! GET TO SLEEP NOW!!!
On this non-football Sunday afternoon, I finally have some time. We're at my parent's house now in Philadelphia and Charlie is soundly sleeping for his afternoon nap. That's right. We have designated naps now. Of course, he went down easy because Mommom put him on his stomach, which he luuuuuved. And Nilda and I were just talking about how lucky we were that he sleeps on his back. Now he's spoiled for life. Here's what's been going on:
Charlie is now 8 weeks old. That is as long as it's been since Nilda and I were able to watch an hour long tv show in one sitting.
We now have professional pictures, including pics of just me and Charlie. All I see is Andrew holding Charlie. Twins are weird.
Charlie had his check up and is doing great. The doctor said Charlie is a cutie, so it's now a scientific fact.
We're still on sleep as the main issue in his life. We were supposed to come in to Philly last weekend but decided to stay in and try to get him on a schedule, like the books say. Apparently, Charlie didn't read the books.
Charlie has his own internal and predictable schedule. He wakes up at 8:00 am on the dot, has his naps throughout the day. We start to get him ready for nighttime sleep at around 7:30 pm, put him down at 8:00, pick him back up at 8:30, put him back down at 8:50, tap his but until 9:00, got back in when he wakes up at 9:25, and so on until he finally falls asleep at 11:00 pm. It's a simple routine.
The trick is to put him down and get him to fall asleep so you won't have to pick him up in 10 minutes. Nilda stands over him and uses the Mommy Force to keep him asleep.
They say not to put him down while he's asleep, since he'll wake up and be upset that he's not being held. It's like going to sleep with your pillow and waking up with it being taken away.
Many babies will wake up after 20-25 minutes of sleep. This means they're having a hard time transitioning from light sleep to deep sleep. The majority of the sleep books out there discuss how to help the baby make that transition without relying on a sleep prop, like being held or put in a swing.
We're not yet at the "crying it out" stage. At this age, crying it out means teaching him that no matter how long he cries, no one will come for him, and we are obviously not doing that.
Andrew told me that crying it out worked for them. I asked how old Lilah was when he started to let her cry it out. He said, "Four and a half years old."
I'm getting ready to call bullshit on Charlie's crying. The other night, we decided to let Charlie cry for 10 minutes after we put him down to sleep for the night. While Nilda went into the bathroom and let the water run to drown out his crying, I watched him on the new video monitor we got. He would cry, look around. Cry louder, look around. Try again, take a break. When I finally went in at 7 minutes (I took all I could take), he stopped crying before I even reached his crib. I call bullshit, Charlie.
The video monitor is great, since you can see what he's doing. Of course, it makes everything look like Paranormal Activity and everyone looks like a zombie.
Charlie apparently does pilates when we're not in the room. He lifts his legs into a perfect tabletop.
Nilda used to say I wouldn't be able to put away dishes with a sleeping baby in the next room. She was 100% right.
The doctor said my watching tv late at night with him will keep him up and I shouldn't do it. I am devastated.
We were at a diner today and Charlie decided that the food arriving was the perfect time to poop. And this was after FIVE DAYS so you know it was a special treat. I was going to change him but there was not changing table in the men's bathroom. Thanks, chauvinistic nature of the Suburban Diner! Nilda took over and I went to check on her after she was in the bathroom for a long time. I watched a woman go in and the come out, still no sign of Nilda. I asked the woman how the baby was inside. She said to me, "Are you Brian? She needs the diaper bag."
My mom is coming back to NY with us to spend the week helping us out. We're grateful and looking forward to. I never realized what my mother did by raising the four of us kids. While pregnant with twins, she moved to a far away city with a 6 and 4 year old and a husband who traveled. I have no idea now she did it.
I don't have access to my pictures right now, but I'll try to get some up later this week. In the meantime, here's a picture of The Kid from yesterday. I know he's only two months old but look at how big he's getting:
Charlie is six weeks old, so it's time for another update. Here's what's been going on:
He weighed 9lbs, 5oz at his one month doctor's appointment and measured 21.5 inches long, so he's growing like he should. High five, Nilda.
Nilda has been wonderful and is a natural mother. I think this surprises her more than anyone else.
Sleep has replaced poop as the main issue. He still only sleeps about three hours at a time. They say that he should start sleeping for longer periods of time soon. Any day now... Any day... Still waiting...
For a while there, Nilda and I were bracing ourselves before each night. We didn't know what was going to happen and we were both terrified. Getting ready for bed was like "I Am Legend."
I've adjusted better than I thought I would to the reduced sleep. Nilda, not so much. I heard her saying to Charlie, "Daddy's a trooper. Mommy's not even in the army."
I've gotten used to being awake for two hours every night. Shout out to the dvr and HBO on demand.
4:20 am doesn't mean what it used to.
Charlie likes to fall asleep while eating. This is a lie, since he'll wake up 5 minutes later, starving.
People tell us to keep him awake more during the day so that he'll sleep more at night. You try keeping him awake. Go ahead, I dare you.
We spent one night in Philadelphia and my mom stayed with Charlie all night. I had 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep and it was glorious.
I've started to pick up on Charlie's cues. For example, he yawns when he gets tired. He puts his hands in his mouth when he's hungry. I know these things because of my experience as a father. I should write a book.
We like to give Charlie a tour of the apartment and show him where everything is in his home. I pay special attention to how the kitchen faucet works and the difference between the trash and the recycling, since no one seems capable of figuring this out. Our only prayer is to start him early.
He hates when his face is touched. That's how I know he's mine. That, and the farting.
Charlie gets very angry when he wakes up and is not fed immediately. I wonder where this temper comes from. It's so unlike his parents.
Charlie is starting to like the Mamaroo, as you can see in the picture below. It provides literally minutes of entertainment.
He likes to be paid attention to. He gets that from his mother.
Charlie's getting better neck control, too. He can now move his head enough to flop it around so that feeding him is virtually impossible.
Mommy is definitely the favorite. He followed Nilda with his eyes and almost seemed to smile. I think he's starting to recognize me, too, though the look I get is usually, "Oh, it's you. Do you have boobs yet? I didn't think so. Go change the diaper genie and be useful."
Thank you again to everyone for your support and calls! We are truly blessed, and I hope you all realize how significant it is that I use the word blessed.
Love, Brian & Nilda & Charlie
P.S. - Congratulations to Julie T. and Kenny who welcomed their gorgeous baby girl Hannah! The Lower Moreland High School Class of '94 is procreating at an alarming rate.
I irritated Nilda throughout her pregnancy to take pictures of her changing body, all for this one blog. The plan had been to post this before the baby was born, but that never happened. I figured that I'd have plenty of time to post once we were home with a newborn. God, I'm stupid.
4 Weeks 12 Weeks 21 Weeks 25 Weeks (aka, the Babymoon) 29 Weeks 34 Weeks 36 Weeks 37 Weeks (check out the feet!)39 Weeks Charlie Eve
I knew we were having a baby, but I didn't expect this. Right after Charlie was born, he and I were taken back to the recovery area to wait for Nilda/mommy. We were alone, just the two of us hanging out, so naturally, I took a picture. After so much waiting, I was still completely unprepared for this:
All is still great. My mom stayed with us for a few days and it was wonderful having her here. She'd stay up with Charlie and let us sleep and did everything for us around the house. I even got to go to a Phish show with Andrew. Mom, you are the best Mommom ever and are welcome to the aerobed any time you want it. Stella would come over and they would both look at Charlie and be in grandma heaven.
Here's Stella cursing my mother for making her do some stretches that she must have seen on Dr. Oz or something.
These are the supplies my mom brought for three nights. I may pack a lot of socks, but no one packs toiletries like my mother. There was a slight panic the first night my mom was here, when she feared she might have forgotten one of her many toiletry bags. Luckily, it was right where it were supposed to be. Phew!
I have learned that my loud walking comes directly from my mother. I'm dainty like a ballet dancer compared to her. I have also inherited my mother's gene for splashing water all over the bathroom sink when washing my face. I realized I have it good when Mom asked me if I got water all over the floor like she does.
New Year's Eve, as expected, was quiet and great. I kept singing "Mommy Daddy Charlie time" to the tune of Peanut Butter Jelly Time." No one needs to know that. Here are a few more pictures I took. Or as Stella would say, "Here he goes with the god damn camera again."
Here's Charlie playing with his favorite toys. He loves getting his hands in the way of everything, especially eating. He snaps into his fingers like it's a fist full of slim jims.
Since all I ever seem to post are pictures of him sleeping here's one where he's showing off his martial arts skills.
CHARLIE: FAMILY MAN
RESULT OF CAMPAIGN TO SIT UP: TOO CLOSE TO CALL
CHARLIE URGES MORE TUMMY TIME TO GET AMERICA MOVING
REPORT: CHARLIE HEAVILY FAVORED TO WIN THE GRANDMA VOTE
39 Weeks
