The Real Problem With Obama

Check out today's Doonesbury. It's right on the money.

Professor Obama

The NY Times had an article today on Obama's 12-year tenure as a law professor at the University of Chicago. What was most interesting to me, as a recovering law student, was Obama's final exams. His last one was in 2003, in Constitutional Law. It was an open-book take home, that had to be completed and returned 8 hours after it was picked up. It consisted of two questions, 2 and 3 pages respectively, and relate to same-sex marriage and voting rights. He has the audacity to write: "Read each question and think before you write. Please do not feel obliged to make use of the maximum number of words in formulating your answers. Precision and imagination, rather than volume, are what I am looking for."

Conclusion: Professor Obama was a dick.

Self-Cleaning Clothing

Brian: "Hey, Nilda, I was reading an article in Scientific American about self-cleaning clothing."

Nilda (facing the computer): "Self-cleaning clothing?"

Brian: "It said that lotus flowers have tiny bumps covered with wax that trap air. When rain falls on the that surface, the water and dirt are more attracted to each other than to the flower, and they both fall together. They're trying to use this concept to create clothing with small, synthetic bumps that will repel dirt in a similar way."

Nilda (turning around): "You need to buy stock in that company."

Brian (pause): "I'm going to write a blog about this."

Obama on Vacationing And Time To Think

Here's a NYTimes article recounting a conversation between Obama and British Tory Leader David Cameron on Saturday, when they did not know they were miked:

Mr. Cameron: You should be on the beach. You need a break. Well, you need to be able to keep your head together.

Mr. Obama: You've got to refresh yourself.

Mr. Cameron: Do you have a break at all?

Mr. Obama: I have not. I am going to take a week in August. But I agree with you that somebody, somebody who had worked in the White House who — not Clinton himself, but somebody who had been close to the process — said that should we be successful, that actually the most important thing you need to do is to have big chunks of time during the day when all you’re doing is thinking. And the biggest mistake that a lot of these folks make is just feeling as if you have to be ...

Mr. Cameron: These guys just chalk your diary up.

Mr. Obama: Right. ... In 15 minute increments and ...

Mr. Cameron: We call it the dentist waiting room. You have to scrap that because you’ve got to have time.

Mr. Obama: And, well, and you start making mistakes or you lose the big picture. Or you lose a sense of, I think you lose a feel ...

Mr. Cameron: Your feeling. And that is exactly what politics is all about. The judgment you bring to make decisions.

Mr. Obama: That’s exactly right. And the truth is that we’ve got a bunch of smart people, I think, who know 10 times more than we do about the specifics of the topics. And so if what you’re trying to do is micromanage and solve everything then you end up being a dilettante, but you have to have enough knowledge to make good judgments about the choices that are presented to you.

****
Wouldn't it be great to have a president who understands that you need time to think, and that you need to rely on the people below you without micromanaging everything? The only thing that concerns me is that this description sounds exactly like our current President.

Things That Piss Me Off About The Bar Exam

It's been a long time, but this list from a kid studying for the Bar brings it all back. Here are some of my favorites:

1. People who don't record their deeds: Hey. Fuck face. That's a nice deed you got there. Went ahead and bought Stankacre, didya? That's awesome. Owning property is a sign of real maturity. Now, why don't you do us all a fucking favor, and go record the fucking deed. Right. Fucking. Now. Don't put it in a goddamn drawer. Don't go off to India for 20 years. Don't leave the deed in your will for dear cousin Victorianox. Get your fat lazy ass down to the records office, and record it before I burn your goddamn house down.

2. Wily property sellers: Here is a suggestion to those Bill of Rights violatin' petty thug ass clowns, the Police. How about you go down to Doucheacre, and arrest the son of a bitch who sells the same house to 15 different people, over and over. I'm sick of this guy getting away every time he pulls this shit, and I'm left to sort out the fucking pieces.

4. People who back out of conspiracies. Why don't you just stick with it and save us all some trouble, you pussy.

9. Bank Mortgages. Hi there, First National Bank of South Calizonachussettsas. I don't mean to tell you how to run your business, but allow me to impart a bit of sage wisdom. When someone: 1) named Defaultina McBankrupstein, 2) is taking out her 17th mortgage with you, 3) on a place called Mushacre 4) so she can buy a new hat,do NOT fucking come crying to me when the inevitable judicial foreclosure sale nets $34, a button, and some lint, all of which are devoured by the banks that are 20 miles ahead of you in creditor line. And do not ask me whether you are a junior or senior mortgagor, or whether you debt is secured, or some other bullshit I don't understand, because the answer is always the same. D) You are Fucked. Take it like a man.

Thanks to Matt From Work for the find. Have a great weekend.

New Band For Brian

Weeds is a surprisingly good show. Nilda says I use the word "surprisingly" too much, but I say it's better than using "shockingly" again. Anyway, it's a great show with great writing and Mary Louise Parker carries it. It also has a great soundtrack (sorry for the fourth "great," couldn't help it). We don't get Showtime and have only seen up to season 3 from netflix, so don't tell us what happens.

Here's a great song from an episode we saw tonight. The band is "Page France," who actually broke up last last year. It's one of those great songs that made me buy the album right away.

Sorry about the weird, homemade video, but I couldn't find an actual video. Here's a link to a video of them performing it live, but I think you should hear the studio version first.

The Dancing Guy

You've all seen this video before, of the guy dancing in front of places all over the world:

Here's the back story. His name is Matt Harding. He's 31-years-old and from Connecticut. He lived in LA for a time working on video games ("Kill All Humans" was his idea), until he got sick of it and decided to travel. His friend told him to "do the dance" he did on camera, and he did it everywhere they went. He made a video of that and it became popular. Stride gum loved the idea and paid for two more trips to use for commercials (here's Stride's web page on Matt). The third trip, the second paid for by Stride, included fans dancing in additon to Matt. The video above includes footage from all three trips. A recent article in the NYTimes about Matt has increased his visibility recently. His video was featured on today's APOD, leading to this here post.

What's the lesson from all this from this amazing video of people all over the world finding common ground? Dancing dude = dork.

I Still Prefer This Heat Wave Over The Cold

• Prediction: Obama will pick Joe Biden as his VP before the start of the Olympics on August 8.
• Best new joke I've heard. Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you wouldn't forget.
• At the hospital last week, Stella (Nilda's mom) asked a little girl to draw her a picture of a house since Stella said she needed to learn how to draw a house. After the girl drew a very pretty house, she said that Stella could keep the picture, "So you can learn to draw a house."
• Who is this T. Boone Pickens guy, calling for energy innovation on commercials on MSNBC, and why is he so awesome?
• Denise Richards' reality show is surprisingly compelling. Tack that onto the fact that I'm mysteriously drawn to Jon & Kate +8, and I need some serious help.
• WWADD: I couldn't figure out why the bodega didn't sell Presidente beer. Then I remembered that it's a Dominican bodega, which means they have a freezer near the front full of single bottles of Presidente and Corona. When looking for Presidente, think: "What would a Dominican do?"
• I finally organized all of my music files onto the laptop's itunes. Do not underestimate how satisfying organizing music on a computer can be.
• There are tons of new on demand channels in the 1000s on Time Warner Cable. Why was I not informed of this sooner?!?!
• Nilda and I have started watching Mad Men on said on demand channels. If you ever want to be reminded why employment law exists, check out this show.

Bad Ass Of The Day: Al Gore

I've been a fan of Al Gore since the sixth grade, where I read a Weekly Reader article outlining each of the candidates and agreed with all of Gore's issues. In the early 1990's, Gore wrote a book where he labeled the environment as the largest issue of our time, and called for the end of the internal combustion engine. We all know now that he was right, but it took courage. George Bush mocked him as "ozone man" for it in the 1992 election. It was hard for me to watch him sell out in 2000, but losing allowed him to get back to what he truly believed in.

Gore's recent speech outlining a goal of energy independence within 10 years is a bold and absolutely necessary step. Although wind and solar energies are not nearly ready to replace oil and coal, he points to the technological leaps Americans were able to accomplish with the silicon chip. He creates an urgency that America has not seen since the Manhattan project and the space race, while combining it with the innovation of the internet. He's found a role as a leader in the greatest threat our civilization is facing, without holding any office that labels him as such. That's bad ass.

It makes sense that Gore declined to run for office. His last run resulted in being required to back off his goals for the country, while being free from office permitted him to fulfill those same goals. The question is what's next. James Carville has recommended that Gore serve as Vice President, leading the country's energy initiatives. I can't think of anything better, but that's not likely. In the alternative, I'd love to see Arnold Schwarzenegger assume a cabinet-level position as energy czar. He's a popular, talented politician who's shown results in California's energy crisis. Plus, Obama choosing a Republican (at least a nominal Republican) would get both parties working together on what we all now recognize as a dire issue.

There are two things that 1988-Brian does not understand: how Arnold Schwarzenegger became a respected politician and how the Beastie Boys became an important musical group. The success of Pink Floyd is another mystery, but I'm not looking to pick a fight.

Mates of State

In 2004 (I think), Andrew and I saw a Cake show at Wester Hall during their Comfort Eagle period. Cake was great, but what really stuck with me was the opening act, Mates of State. It was a husband and pregnant wife (which really impressed me), playing drums and organ, respectively. I'm generally not into two person acts and don't like the White Stripes (no bass!), but MOS was amazing. They had innovative key and tempo changes and sang mostly meaningless lyrics with dueling harmonies. They were amazing and Andrew bought the album, Team Boo, at the show, which I promptly stole from him. It wasn't long until I bought all their other albums, as well.

They came out with a new album in May and finally appear to be getting press. They were featured in NY Magazine and appeared on Conan. They keep a blog, Band on the Diaper Run, which I link to on the right.

The new album isn't as good as the old stuff. They've got more musicians now, less gibberish lyrics and appear to have settled down with their two kids. But it's still great. Here's the newly released video of "My Only Offer," the best song on the new album. Notice the bass on the track:



Back to work.

I Like Obama As Much As Francesca Used To Like Dora

I'm more impressed with Obama right now than I ever have before. He's still got the idealist allure, but no one's calling him naive or a lightweight any more. He's has the calculating strategy of the Clintons without the ego. He's still the change candidate, but is now viewed as savy enough to ward off the "kid" label. He's respected in a way that he wasn't during the primaries. McCain being a terrible candidate helps, but part of McCain's problem is that he's being compared to a candidate who's being increasingly viewed as substantial.

Tacking to the right immediately after getting the nomination, by giving a speech on patriotism and endorsing faith-based programs, was a calculated effort to make him less threatening to the right, and it worked. But if you look at Obama's positions, he's been consistent throughout. It's more likely that the country has moved to the left.

His an op-ed in the NYTimes outlining a plan to get out of Iraq seems completely reasonable, and no one's presented anything against it. If anything, Obama's plan to get us out, pragmatically flexible, is the national consensus. Obama has nullified the fact that McCain supported the surge. By conceding that the surge worked, he is able to argue that we should therefore be able to leave, like we were promised before the surge.

Obama's biggest problem is that he has no support for his alleged new politics. Politicians in Washington wonder why, if Obama is so eager to cross party lines, he didn't do so during his time in the senate. It's a good point, but if you're gonna take a chance, this is guy to do it with.

Best Obama joke so far goes to The Onion: "Black Guys Asks Nation For Change."

Do You Like Crytal Gel?

I've been cracking up at Yael's post about Jim Gaffigan’s Hot Pockets routine ("They come in ice cold or lava hot."). Here's the thing: I don't like stand up. Haven't since I was a kid watching Turkey TV. Someone standing up and trying to "be funny" makes me as uncomfortable as I felt when the "special guest" in kindergarten or on Sesame Street would sing and play guitar to the class...making EYE CONTACT. It's just weird. (Surprisingly, musicians and comedians, though both performing in front of an audience, don't get along. Andrew and I proudly mocked the comedians who were stupid enough to try to perform at Sidewalk.)

Yet, for some reason, stand up works incredibly well on the internet. Whether it's the short videos, the close ups, or the fact that I'm at work, stand up works on youtube. Check this one out:



She's now on MadTV. It's good that she's making a living doing comedy, but you know that same skit isn't nearly half as good as the stand-up routine.

Brown Bagging It Flashback

Nilda and I bought some sliced turkey this weekend. Last night, I figured I could make a sandwich and bring it to work for lunch. Then I thought I could also bring one of the oranges we got. Then, I thought why not pack some of the Cheese-its we bought, as well. (If you haven't tried Cheez-its in a while, do it.) Next thing I know, I'm in 10th grade again. Turkey sandwiches were always a favorite.

"Build A Wiffle Ball Field And Lawyers Will Come"

After reading that headline in today's NY Times, everyone in my office was instantly excited. We've talked about putting together a softball team or something and this seemed perfect. Then we actually read the article, and saw how it's not about lawyers playing wiffle ball, but about the legal problems surrounding a field that teenagers cleared to play wiffle ball. Rather than being about lawyers playing organized sports, it's another example of how lawyers cause problems in this country.

Bad tease, NY Times!

Brian The Sports Fan

For the first time in my life, my weekend revolved around sports. Stop laughing:

• Caryn & Forrest got the girls the Wii. The best game on Wii sports is bowling. Francesca, my 5-year-old neice, is by far the best player in the family.
• Francesca and I watched bowling. We both agreed that she could have beaten them all. She got bored and called me a "diaper." I struck back with a powerful "laundry face." Francesca then launched a vicious "stroller brain," causing me to defend myself with barbed "envelope head." Nilda basked in my maturity.
• The tennis on the Wii is surprisingly interesting. This is the only explanation as to how I watched Wimbledon, and was actually interested.
• I watched a boxing match on HBO. Then I played boxing on the Wii. I'm a bad muthafucka.
• I watched a Phillies/Mets game and wanted the Phillies to win, even though I'm surrounded by Met fans in NY and never watch baseball. I now understand that I am and will always be a fan of ONLY Philly sports teams. I did not know this before, and learned this only by watching baseball.
• The one thing Met fans are afraid of is the Phillies. The one thing Phillies fans are afraid of is the Phillies.
• After playing a ton of the Wii on Friday, I woke up on Saturday with an incredibly sore right arm and shoulder. Just like my Dad, I spent the entire day explaining how sore I was to everyone. Then I got the fish platter at Famous Deli, just one stop on the world-renowned Jeffrey Heller Tennis Tour, where you can see all the places Dad plays tennis and eats afterwards. I became my father this weekend.

Jon & Kate +8

My new guilty pleasure is Jon & Kate Plus 8. It's a reality show about a couple in Central Pennsylvania with a set of 6-year-old twin girls, and a set of sixtuplets (3 boys, 3 girls). What really interests me is the dad, who's barely over 30. His days, when he's not working as an IT guy, are spent following 8 kids around and doing everything he can not to piss off his control-freak of a wife.

The dad has moved beyond being happy or sad with his life. He's in survival mode. It's not that he's unhappy or that he doesn't love his kids. It's just a hectic life, and the only time he seems genuily relaxed is when he's playing golf. I can't help but feel for him. But maybe that's just because he's being careful about what he says on camera. I think about how often Nilda gets mad at me for saying things I'm not supposed to say, and I'm only talking to Andrew. And this guy's on tv, so you KNOW he's in trouble a lot. If you're interested, I highly recommend it. It's good for your vagina.

Akira

Akira is a Japanese comic book (or "magna," as the geeks call them), from the 80's turned into a Japanese anime movie in 1988. So there's no suspense, it tells the story of a group of telekinetic youths in a post-apocalyptic Tokyo that focuses on the powers of the title character.Andrew and I watched the movie, IN JAPANESE, Lyle Bogin's basement when we were 13 years old. It was as bad an idea as it sounds.

Anyway, I have just learned that a live-action movie is in the works, rumored to be produced and possibly staring Leonardo DiCaprio. If there is anyone out there, anyone at all besides Andrew, who finds this the least bit interesting, please tell me I'm not alone.

Happy 4th of July

New favorite: tequila. I've finally opened that bottle of Patron Stella got me and I'm loving it. Goes fantastic with lime and St. Germain, or great with lime and triple sec. Anything but straight up.

Tomorrow is the last day for our first session of interns, and we're going to Benjamin's steakhouse next door. My big problem is what kind of steak I'm going to order. This normally difficult choice is further complicated by the fact that they're serving surf & turf at Amy & Sagi's wedding tomorrow night. I shouldn't get the rib-eye, because it's high fat (i.e., deliciousness), would make it harder to have another steak that night. I'm thinking of either the filet or the ny strip on the bone (suggestions are welcome). Either way, I'm ordering it raw.

And finally, Obama did not pull a "fist snub" on a little kid. The kid was not looking to fist pump, but wanted Obama to sign his hand, as did another girl near him, and Obama refused saying that "Mom wouldn't be happy tonight." See for yourself:

Congrats to Sagi & Amy!! We've got to do Sagi's bachelor party again real soon. Sagi is the one on the left:

I'm looking forward to their wedding tomorrow night, especially the open bar. Julie, you're my sister and I love you.

Obama & Religion

Obama's recent announcement that he'll promote faith-based programs has me worried. After the past eight years of Bush and his "higher father," I trust mixing politics and religion about as much as I trust Nilda in Crate & Barrel. Even worse, this reeks of pandering to the evangelicals, who, according to a poll I saw tonight on Olbermann, heavily favor McCain.

On the other hand, the faith-based programs have actually done a lot of good and should be supported. Not to give any credit to Bono, but he said that once Christians realized that AIDS victims in Africa are the lepers of our time, they, to their credit, took action to help. Lumping them together with Bush isn't fair, since Bush just used them to get elected. Furthermore, Obama's start as a community organizer focused a lot on churches, so he knows first hand how religion can touch the people government should be helping.

So I'll give Obama this one, but I'm keeping my eye on him. Like I say to Nilda, "No Jesus in the house!"