The Trip To Israel

• We flew into Tel Aviv and stayed the first (and last) night there. I always hated Tel Aviv. Then I learned that it was formed by 60 Jewish families in 1909 who put a flag in a sea of sand near the old city of Jaffa and decided to make a home there led by Mayor Dizengoff. When Israel declared its Independence in 1948, Ben Gurion made the announcement in Tel Aviv (since Jerusalem was under siege) from Dizengoff's old home, now known as Independence Hall. Tel Aviv represents the vision and the balls of the early Jewish settlers of Palestine.
• Golda Meir, who was born in Minnesota and was a key early leader of Israel, eventually becoming Prime Minister of Israel, was a bad ass. Ben Gurion said of her, "She's the only man in my cabinet."
• We went to the international headquarters of the Bahai'i, some weird kind of "religion" that has its headquarters full of incredibly well-kept gardens in North Israel, in Haifa. They only accept donations from members, but members are not allowed to live in Israel where the headquarters are located. I don't get it either.
• When Dad gets hungry, he gives up all responsibility for decision-making, which, he tells me, then rests with my mother. Yet, he retains veto power over any decisions. Luckily, we had Julie to ask total strangers where was good to eat, which was usually successful.
• Our tour guide, Yehuda, was great. He was a member of the Israeli Navy and spent the 1967 war running a boat on the Sea of Galilee. He was extremely knowledgeable about everything, and clearly loves what he does. His card reads, "For you is a tour, for me is a passion."
• Yehuda is also a Scientologist who hates Arabs, women drivers, dinner and Arabs. He loves the Maccabees, a family that led a successful revolt against the Greeks, which collapsed after only 80 years after the sons could not agree on a successor. This was an obviously failed revolt to me, but Yehuda saw this as a success that lasted longer than the state of Israel has survived. Jews like to look for a victory.
• What stood out was how much agriculture there was throughout the state of Israel. From bananas to dairy farms, to fish farms, the entire country is seeded with farming.
• One of the most tense moments we had was driving through the West Bank to get to Jerusalem. We asked Yehuda if we were allowed to drive through such a hotly constested piece of land, to which he responded, "Of course! This is my land." The Israeli villages in the West Bank have fences and barbed wire for protection. Nothing happened, of course. What really struck me was how many farms there were throughout the area. Milk and honey means a good place to grow food.
• Jerusalem has always been my favorite city in the world. It's the only place where people actually care about the land itself.
• We visited the Valley of Tears, a battlefield from the 1973 Yom Kippur War where about 200 tanks held off about 1260 Syrian tanks over a three day battle. Dad and I wanted to know the tactical basis for how the Israelis were able to win under such stunning odds. All we got were that the Israelis had the higher ground. One thing I realized was that, apparently, the Arabs were terrible soldiers.
• The Bedouin Arabs, however, are great soldiers, according to Yehuda.
• There are more Christian tourists than Jewish tourists. They all want to walk in the footsteps of Jesus.
• Jesus' real name was Yeshua, which translates to Joshua. Joshua was just one of many critics who argued that Herod's grandiose temple was a mistake that put too much distance between the people and God.
• Nilda and I both caught some kind of bug in Israel that made us both sick. It turns out that when you're sick, you're less inhibited in telling people about what would normally be very personal information. Needless to say, Nilda and I pooped our brains out in Israel. Nilda blames petting the baby cow that was born that day, I've got nothing to counter with.
• Being sick, I had a lot of tea. Tea is good shit.
• We had international CNN and Fox news. Apparently, all anyone cared about was the financial crisis in the US and what kind of puppy the Obamas are going to get.
• Israeli food is Mediterranean food. You start out with a number of "salads" like hummus, tahini, eggplant, cabbage, falafel and pickled vegetables, then move on to white fish such as "sea bream" or meat like lamb or veal. The veal is not like our white veal, but more like regular beef.
• There is no such thing as "regular" coffee. You get either instant coffee or Turkish coffee, which has the grinds in it. Your best bet is to order a cappuccino.
• In the days of the Temple, religion consisted of sending an offerring to the Temple once a year. There was no synagogue or daily prayer, as the Jews were just another tribe of warriors. Finally, I feel vindicated for not going to services or keeping kosher, since my Jewish ancestors didn't give a shit about that, either.