Oh Look, Pictures Of Your Kid. How Novel.

We had a bunch of firsts this weekend.  Charlie had his first "solid" food this weekend.  I wanted to try pizza, but Nilda was all boring and we gave him brown rice cereal.  Lame.  We'll save the nachos for next weekend.  As you can see from this video, Charlie was not a fan.

He liked it better when we added applesauce, but he's still figuring out what this food thing is (he keeps pushing it out of his mouth).  We're feeding him "solid" food once a day at lunch, but Nilda fed him twice on Saturday because all she wants to do is play with her new toy.  I narrowed down the multitude of pictures I took down to two and told Nilda to choose one to go on the blog.  She chose both.

Notice the bib that says, "I'd Rather Eat At Daniel," which we got FOR FREE when we went to Daniel for my birthday in November, when Nilda was uber-pregnant.  Here is Charlie featuring what is perhaps the most expensive bib in Inwood. 

We went to brunch on Saturday with Abuela and Charlie did not take advantage of the buffet.  He did, however, show off his new sunglasses to the ladies.  We put them on him for the first time and he was looking around like he had no clue what just happened. 

Notice the Sophie giraffe, which is the greatest invention of all time.  It's a rubber squeak toy that's made to be chewed on and has a bunch of little legs for little hands to grab.  They actually market it for having "the singular scent of natural rubber," like that's something every baby has desperately been asking for.  Charlie likes to lick its face.  We then went to the park where Charlie was sporting the Phish onesie I got him right after we learned Nilda was pregnant.  It's crazy to see the person that's actually wearing it.  A four-month-old is considered a person, right?

Charlie also attended his first kid's birthday party this weekend.  Happy 2-year-old birthday, Madelynn! A year ago I was at her first birthday party questioning whether I really did want to have kids, now here I am at her second birthday party with a pootster.  It was a kite flying party and Charlie had a great time, which we know because he didn't cry the whole time. We tried to take a picture of all the kids and it went as well as you would imagine.  Wheeere's Charlie???

Behind any kid's birthday party in the park is a field littered with strollers.  Oh, the humanity.   

We finally put up a mobile on Charlie's crib and he luuuved it.  These are Charlie's new friends.  Look at these fat little legs.

I've been taking a lot more videos of Charlie, since he's been doing more interesting stuff.  Here's one of him laughing when I do the "your feet hit me in the face" routine.  He loves it.  I have other videos but they make me look like such an idiot that I'll never post them.  I really have to stop making this a blog about pictures of my kid.  That's what facebook is for.

Here is a picture of how terrifying the images on the video monitor can be.  The sound coming from this picture was "I sees you..."

Charlie - 4 Months

Charlie turned four months old on April 15.  On the one hand it's gone by so fast, but on the other so much has happened that I can't believe it's only been four months.  I always thought my life would change when I had a kid and it has.  Here's what's been going on: 

• Charlie's 4 month check up went great. He's still at about the 50% on all measurements and he is very healthy. This examination highlights the differences between Nilda and me. When the female pediatrician was checking out Charlie's belly and pelvis, Nilda was concerned that the doctor would find a mass of some sort.  I looked at the same scene and saw Charlie's face saying, "Ooh, it's a lady."
• We have a part-time nanny to help out, who is wonderful. Nilda, out of respect, calls her "Mary Fucking Poppins." 
• Charlie has started this new high-pitched sound when he's happy. He wakes up and skwaks while smiling and laughing, waiting to be fed. We call it the Baby Eagle.
• Charlie loves being around people, especially his cousins.  He loves being the center of attention.  Really?  Nilda's kid?  Never would have thought of it.
• Charlie is very happy that Deadliest Catch is back.
• Now that Charlie is 4 months old, he can play with a whole bunch of new toys like the exersaucer and can go on the swings. Ironically, this excites Mommy waaay more than it excites Charlie.
• We can start solid foods soon. This means we can expect a bigger mess and stinky poops. Nilda's excited because she can finally use those adorable little spoons we got. I promise to take many pictures and force you all to look at them on facebook.
• We frequently talk about how much our life has changed. If we're not in bed by 10:00 pm, we're late. The idea of needing an alarm clock is literally a joke.
• We're trying to find music to play for Charlie, but most of it is horrendously annoying.  We're desperately trying to stay away from the hell that is Barney for as long as we can, but we know it's out there.  We know.
• Charlie sleeps more than any human reasonably should.  He's down at about 7:00 pm and sleeps until about 7:00 am, with one night feeding at around 2:00 or 3:00 am.  The doctor told us that if we feed him more during the day, then the night feedings should end.  I can't believe that such a remarkable possibility exists.
• Charlie loves the bath because he gets to pee as much as he wants.
• No matter how upset or tired he is, Charlie will smile if you put a burp cloth in his mouth.
• People say he's starting to look like Nilda now. Forget what he looks like, he is his mother, down to his cold clammy feet, his one wacky eyebrow, his monkey toes, the fact that he drools when he sleeps, his monkey toes, and the fact that he hates loud noises, has absolutely no stamina and wakes up cranky but after five minutes wants to talk talk talk.  Even his two hairs are curly like Nilda's.
• I refuse to smell Charlie's butt to see if he pooped. This has somehow become Nilda's new favorite pastime. 
• Now that it's getting warm out we can start taking Charlie outside more.  Damn, our kid is white.
• It's great living in Inwood because there are so many kids in the neighborhood. But they're separated by age. Surprisingly, parents of a nine-month-old don't have so much in common with noob parents of a four-month-old.
• I've been walking with Charlie through the park, pushing the stroller to the limits of its warranty. I like talking to Charlie because he's such a good listener.
• Charlie is going to start a blog called "Mommy > Daddy."
• Charlie has become deceptively mobile in the crib.  He's like one of those starfish on Frozen Planet.
• We've learned that since Charlie HATES being in the car seat when it's not moving, I have to trick him by driving around the parking lot while Nilda runs whatever errand she's on.  Once he realizes the lie, I bring him into the front seat where we listen to the radio.  He's a big fan of Poker Face.
• In many ways, my life is very similar to what it was.  As long as I've got alcohol, everything will be okay.

On another exciting note, Charlie isn't the youngest member of the family anymore!  Cousins Lisa and Jason and new big brother Max welcomed Eva Maren into the world today!  We can't wait to meet her.  Charlie's so excited that he can barely keep the saliva in his mouth.  No, he's not teething, he just loves eating his hands.  

  

Passover 2012

This weekend was Charlie's first Passover and he had a great time.  First, we went to a Seder led by the estimable Cousin Bill.  As Bill wisely pointed out, the first Seder fell on a Shabbat this weekend, which means we get to say even more stuff.  Bill runs a mighty Seder.  It's based on The Prince of Egypt and it's really good.

We had the second Seder at my parents' house.  Charlie was surrounded by his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and he absolutely loved it.  

Charlie got to spend time with his cousin Serena who is just three months older than him.  I'm excited to see these two grow up and play together, since they're so close in age.  He also got to play with all her toys.  We put them both in the same crib to see who would survive, like a combination of the Hunger Games and Thunderdome.  There can be only one.  Unfortunately, all they did was grab each other and hold hands.

Passover means there's no food in the house.  If you want to eat, you have to go out and sneak it like it's heroin.  Nilda and I got hoagies (because we're in Philly) and went to the park to eat chametz in shame.  Charlie went on his first ride on the swings and absolutely loved it. He was kicking away and smiling and was probably as cute as he's ever been.

He hates the sun.  For the record, pirates and camo is way better than trucks and trains for little boys.  Just saying.  Because I married a gentile, this was also Charlie's first Easter.  Apparently, you celebrate Easter by buying dollar-store quality plastic eggs and candy and taking pictures.  Because it's candy, I'll allow it, just don't tell my mother. 

This was a very special Passover because we got to have a third Seder.  My mom's side usually has a big Seder and since the place we found that we like was busy on Saturday, we moved the Seder to the third night.  As Andrew aptly noted on facebook, we drink warm beer to remember that our ancestors fleeing Egypt did not have time to properly chill their beer.  Charlie wore his shirt and tie set from Yael for the first time and looked very professional.  He kept his tie on longer than I did.

Nilda and I drove back to New York with Andrew and Charlie in the back seat.  I have no idea how we could go anywhere with Charlie without the car.  Uncle Andrew treated Charlie to his first viewing of Elmo and Big Bird on Uncle Andrew's iphone and Charlie loved it.  All in all, this was the best Passover I can remember.  By the way, I read somewhere once that the Last Supper was a Seder, and since it was in writing it must be true. 

Lessons For Charlie

• Never cut your own hair.
• Take a picture before you unplug any cables.
• Bring enough socks.
• Learn how to speak Spanish, because you can.  Also, comebacks in Spanish are way cooler. 
• Send back an overcooked steak. If the second steak is still overcooked, blame the restaurant.  
• You can't ever be 100% certain of anything, so don't tell people you are.
• Never travel with more than you can carry.
• Don't try to catch a falling knife. Just get your feet out of the way.
• Never buy cheap trash bags or paper towels.
• If a woman ever asks you what the temperature is outside, say, "It's cold." 
• Don't buy anything on a credit card unless you already have the money to pay for it.
• Sometimes the first answer you get is the final answer. Usually, it's not.
• When you're on a roll, don't mess it up.
• It's never bad to see the humor in situations. It can be bad to share that humor.
• Learn the appropriate use of fakakta.
• Don't go down every rabbit hole you find. 
• If they have fried yuca on the menu, order it.
• Don't go into finance.
• Never spend money on an app you downloaded for free.
• If you're ever stopped by the police, keep your mouth shut and ask for a lawyer.  If they ask permission to search you or the car, say no.  
• Never put naked pictures of yourself or anyone else on the Internet.
• The most powerful emotion is guilt.
• Like Albert Brooks said in Defending Your Life, life on Earth is all about overcoming fear.
• When all else fails, make a scene.
• Mommy and Daddy will always love you, no matter what.
• Stay gold, Ponyboy.