Twin Conversation

I have not been able to escape the youtube video of the two twin 17-month-old boys having a "conversation." If you have been so lucky, your time is up.

Being someone who has had those exact conversations, I can tell you that this is probably what they are saying to each other:

• “Idiot.”
• "Loser.”
• “God, I hate you.”
• “You are a disgrace to the entire family.”
• “I sharted in the womb and you came out.”
• “Your very existence makes Mom cry.”
• “Dad pretends that you’re me, so that he can forget you exist.”
• “I saw your little wee-wee in the womb and we are DEFINITELY not identical. No wonder you feel such same.”
• “Stop staring at my wee-wee, fag.”
• “Looking like you is like looking in a mirror that’s facing my ass hole.”
• “The family took a vote and decided that you should be left outside to die.”
• “You know what, it doesn’t matter what you say, because you were adopted. There, I said it.”
• “I’m going to stab you with a sippy cup.”
• “I can’t believe I shared a womb with you. I just threw up in my mouth a little.”
• “Do you want to go pee on the carpet?”
• “Totally.”