Too Ghetto For Tropic Zone

There's an article in the Post this week about a woman who sued the Tropic Zone after they declined to hire her as a waitress. She's suing because they told her that the reason she was not hired was because she was "too ghetto," had a latin accent and does not "speak white." She said this was her "dream job" and that she had the body and the experience for the job.

Here is why this is a terrible case for a plaintiff's lawyer:

• Failure to hire cases are notoriously difficult. There are so many reasons why a person could not be hired that it is too speculative to say that it was this reason. Plus, you don't have any ability to prove that the plaintiff was a good worker, not just someone seeking a quick dollar, which is the most important part of any employment discrimination case.
• The first affirmative defense will be that she has a big ass. The entire case will be about the flaws in her body, which the defense lawyers will analyze and put on posters. They will take their hottest girls and compare them, feature by feature, to the plaintiff, to show the legitimate reasons why she did not meet their physical requirements. This will be a very difficult and emotional case for the plaintiff.
• The position she was applying for is all about the tastes of the customers. The owners can simply say that she did not meet their tastes. No court is going to intrude into a business decision like that.
• Is being "too ghetto" a protected category? Maybe that is a valid business consideration for a business that relies mostly on tourists. On the other hand, telling her that she doesn't "speak white" is pretty clear cut on her side.
• How do you evaluate her damages? If she makes money on tips, how do you prove how customers would have tipped her? How long could she have been in this position?

Bottom line: it's a fun and easy headline for the plaintiff's lawyer, but a terrible case to try with little hope of a meaningful recovery.

The Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act

As both of my loyal readers know, today, President Obama (I still love saying that) signed The Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act into law. This law overturns the Supreme Court's ruling in the Ledbetter case, which, as some of you may remember from my prior blog, held that Ledbetter could not sue for a discriminatory decision made years ago that lessened her retirement benefits.

I have not read the new law. I'm not even sure if it makes sense for me to do so. We really won't really know its impact until the Supreme Court interprets it. And its never a good thing when the Supreme Court interprets a law overruling its prior decision.

So here's what I think the Act does. It shifts the deciding factor of the statute of limitations from when the decision was made, to when the impact of that decision was made. Instead of looking at when the discriminatory decision was made, the statute of limitations would start to run after each paycheck where she was paid less than a man. She still will not be able to sue for the damages she suffered throughout her career, since the Court already decided in Morgan that each paycheck is a discrete act that starts its own limitations period (nerd alert!), but at least she would be able to get to court to make sure future payments are not discriminatory.

While its unclear what this Act will really mean for workers, its a good sign that Congress is watching the Courts with respect to employment discrimination. With all the Bush appointees holding life tenure, that's definitely a good thing for Obama to have accomplished right after his inauguration.

Brian Joins A Gym

Because the world needs to know. If I was going to do it, I had to do it before the end of the month. Nothing motivates me to work out like saving an initiation fee.

I get there and have to wait for the obligatory information session & tour, a process I absolutely despise. Maybe I'm alone on this, but I hate being the douche bag in pleated pants being guided around. We can skip the spinning room, please. It doesn't matter that I make it crystal clear that I have no interest in a personal trainer, I still have to be introduced to the head personal trainer. Nice to meet you, Floyd. They asked me what my "goals" were. I told them that I had already met my primary goal just by being there.

I've never known what would lead a person to being the one who shows people around. Then I met "Zach," a 22-year-old who likes to share too much. He's the Assistant (to the) Manager and just moved from Miami to New York three weeks ago for this job. He knows the elementary school Andrew and I went to and his family belonged to the same synagogue my family belonged to (Beth Shalom now Beth Shira). He still has a girlfriend in Gainesville, but they're both young and they understand where they are. His mother is a mediation judge of some sort and his father is an attorney, so he feels pushed to go into law. He wants to be a sports agent and thinks that going to law school will somehow help with that. Law school's a dead end, Zach.

Finally, I'm allowed to work out, but by now I only have a little bit of time before my first priority, getting home to watch Los--be with Nilda. I soon realize that based on my speed on the treadmill, I'm running a 10 minute mile. It would therefore take me approximately 26 hours to run a marathon. I clearly do not have the time to run a marathon.

My plan was that going to the gym would somehow make me want to keep going to the gym, and I think it worked. As you can tell, all of this proves that I am clearly better than Andrew.

Who's the Boss?

This is an insulting question. Of course Angela is the boss. She hired Tony to clean her house, and allows he and his daughter Samantha to live there. The title implies that because she is a woman, and he is a man, there is somehow a question as to their relationship. There is not, as she is the employer and is, by definition, the boss. Right, Mona?

Bad Brian

Yes, I need to blog, I'm well aware. I've been busy. I'll get to it as soon as I can and/or feel like it. Really, I promise.

President Bush

Bush's greatest failure has been his failure to act. He failed to prevent 9/11 (I'm done with the whole "no one could have known" argument, people told Bush and Condeleeza Rice and they ignored the warnings). He then failed to show any leadership on Katrina, torture, the housing bubble and the collapse of the economy. Most of all, he failed to control the forces in his administration that pushed to start a war that everyone now agrees should never have happened.

But still, after all that, I can't help but feel sorry for sorry for him. He'll be remembered as one of the worst Presidents in history, and given how the Presidency has become more visible and recognizable like never before, he will definitely stand out. But at the same time, it looks like the little guy did his best. There doesn't appear to be any malicious intent in the damage he's done, no mens rea. He's also enthusiastic about the transition to Obama, which is oddly reassuring.

I'm ok with feeling sorry for Bush mostly because Obama is taking over for him. I would feel completely different if McCain was being sworn in next week. If Bush had not been so terrible, it's doubtful that Obama could have won, that hope and a (black!) liberal democrat would have had a chance. The country seems to be back on track and Bush, as bad he was, is the vehicle that led us here. And that's not bad.

How To Crack A Master Lock

Part of me says it's time to go back to the gym. The other part of me says "Whoa whoa whoa whoa, mister! Aren't you getting an xbox? Do you really want to commit to going to the gym right before Operation Brian's Xbox just gets under way? Really, you're just being selfish at this point." Though the debate rages on, I've decided to bring my stuff to work. The problem is that I forgot my combo to my lock. If I was smart, I'd take that as a sign.

Master lock will only send you the combo if you submit a formal, notarized request, with proof that the lock is not attached to anything. And if you're a prisoner, the request needs to be submitted on the prison's letterhead.

Here's a video showing some geek mathalete with way too much time demonstrating how to limit the possible combinations from 64,000 to just 100 options, which, if you can stand to watch the whole video, you will never, ever do:



Lesson of the day: send yourself an email with the combo to the new lock you're going to have to buy and move it to saved mail. Duh.

Top That!

Blogging is hard, people! You have to not only sit down to actually write the thing, but you have to come up with an idea that (1) you can write about and (2) that people (Nilda & "anonymous" Matt) won't label boring. So I took a break for a little while, ok? If you don't like it, you can s my d:

• The Eagles have made it to the NFC Championship game. This was considered an impossible long shot the last time I blogged. In fact, some are saying that of the four teams left, the Eagles have the best shot to win the Superbowl. This is truly a wonderful moment.
• I'm predicting an Eagles-Steelers Superbowl (with the Eagles winning), and I'm not alone.
• Giants fans hate the Eagles more than Eagles fans hate the Giants. Yes, you'll find examples of angry Eagles fans, but Giants fans aren't happy unless the Eagles lose. My walking around the office whispering "Eagles!" to all the Giants fans probably hasn't helped.
• 30 Rock proved its brilliance once again by having Kenneth perform the "Top That" rap from the crappy 90's movie "Teen Witch." I thought only Andrew and I knew that, and by "knew that" I mean remember the lyrics to this day and repeat them often.
• Before you die, go to Katz's Deli for pastrami after a night of heavy drinking.
• Everyone please watch Friday Night Lights. You will not regret it.
• The countdown to Operation Brian Gets An Xbox has officially begun. I want Madden, Call of Duty 4, Guitar Hero and Command & Conquer. It's just a matter of time, now.
• Congress is considering a law to overturn the Supreme Court's decision in Ledbetter, which I've blogged about before. This would increase the statute of limitations for employees complaining about discrimination. One Republican said, "Trial lawyers, you can be sure, are salivating at this very prospect." Dude, you have no idea.
• Nilda's started looking at sofas. I am...totally...screwed.
• I'm hot. And you're not. But if you want to hang with me, I will give it one shot. Top that!
• Hey look, I wrote a blog! Top that!

This Is CNN

The odd part is that I now actually respect Kathy Griffin. Go Eagles.

True Love