Blue Balls

The case settled. We picked a jury on Tuesday, then went to our judge. While we're there, let me point out that the state court method for jury selection makes no sense. Instead of having one judge assigned to each case, you show up to court on your trial date without any clue who the judge will be. You first go to a judicial hearing officer (a retired judge who reached the mandatory retirement age of 72), whose only role is to send you to the jury selection room, where you will pick your jury. If you're lucky, there will be another retired judge at the jury room to resolve any conflicts with jury selection. It's whack, yo!

You then talk to a bunch of jurors and try to come up with a jury. The whole process can take more than a day. In federal court, on the other hand, you have a judge from the start who runs the jury selection quickly. The whole thing is done by lunch on day one and is far more efficient. It's my guess that state court judges don't like jury selection and therefore delegated that annoying task to others. Also, state court cases will have more of the personal injury and smaller claims, which are likely to settle before the trial even starts.

Anyway, this case settled. And I didn't even get to do my opening! I had been practicing this thing for days. I made Nilda listen to it over and over again. I was all ready, and I didn't get to do it. Bummer. What I was really looking forward to was the closing.

P.S. - If I ever own a boat, I'm calling it "Not Penny's Boat." There, I called it. Dibs.