Congratulations, Andrew!

Andrew has always been a disappointment. But now, after years of whinning, complaining and yes, maybe a little hard work, my brother has finally earned a Master's Degree from New York University. With a focus on bullshit. Did you really write a 60-something page paper about food labels? He started the program about four years ago and, two kids later, is still a loser. But a highly-educated loser. Good job, dude.

And he's a wonderful father. Truly a role model for us all.