Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Tips For A Deposition

  • Bang the table.
  • Slam your papers down.
  • Accuse the other lawyer of coaching.
  • Call him a bully and tell him you won't be pushed around (I use "him," not "her," because women are far more reasonable and many of these tips will not apply with a female lawyer).
  • Tell him you know his type, that his tactic is to yell until the other lawyers gets intimidated and backs down, but that you know won't be intimidated so he should just back off.
  • Cut him off so that the reporter can't write down what he's saying.
  • Tell him you have a right to object and protect your client's rights and won't let him take that right away from your client. Really wave the flag.
  • Remind him about the rules against speaking objections. Offer to send him a copy of the rules.
  • Walk out and say, "Let's take a break."
  • Be really sarcastic. Be really really polite two minutes later.
  • Interrupt his objection so the reporter can't write it down.
  • Threaten to call the court repeatedly, all the while knowing you'll never, ever call the court.
  • Call his bluff and say, "Yes, let's call the court!"
  • Be really nice to the witness right after you scream at the lawyer. Make sure he/she knows your not mad at him/her.

4 comments:

Mary said...

lol. LOL!!!!! I really don't want to be a lawyer anymore. I'd rather yell at a 4 year old than opposing counsel.

TheMediaDude said...

You sound like a complete and utter dick. I'm so proud!

DorothyMantooth said...

Ahhh, remember law school? When you used US to get out these aggressions?

I'm so glad you're practicing.

Don't Be So Dramatical said...

Ah, Brian. You are such a 'gentle soul'