6 Months

I know I haven't posted in a while and I skipped right over Father's Day.   Downton Abbey is just that good. 

• Charlie had his 6-month check up and is doing great.  He's in the 50th percentile for length and weight, but of course, his head size is still above average.  
• Charlie is a big hit at the playground.  And he loves the sprinklers. He also sweats a lot. Charlie hates the heat and especially hates the hot subway.  Just like Mommy!
• The most unexpected part of being a father is the auditory hallucinations.  I hear this kid crying even when he's not making a sound.
• Nilda and I went out for dinner and a movie without Charlie and it was amazing.  Although we were in bed by 10:30, which proves we're still lame.
• Prometheus started out great but got really weird.  Here's a long article on the background of the Alien franchise.  Yes, I realize that only Andrew will read it.  Here's another article describing the business of the Mexican drug cartels, comparing them to Netflix and Facebook.  
• I love season finale season.  Girls was a surprisingly good show that got better as the season went on.
• The Pizza Tour went to Keste and I had a life-changing pizza moment, second only to the first time I had the square at Difara's.  The pistachio-pesto sausage pie is actually better than it sounds.   
• The interns at work are getting stupider by the day.  They are all amazed that I know the keyboard shortcuts for Wordperfect, like it's some magical secret they're not allowed to know.  This is what happens when you have a generation of kids that never played video games using the z an x keys to move.  It's like they never played Track and Field.   
• One kid's jaw dropped when I told him that when I played Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego, I had to flip the 5" floppy disk to load the whole game on my Apple II.
• Phish is on tour, which means I'm on twitter again.  But I don't actually write anything because there's too much pressure to put something clever after the hashtag.  #uuuuhhhhh

Charlie turned 6 months old last Friday and I took a shit load of pictures.  Nilda posted a mere seven of them on facebook, but I'll only put three here.  

 Charlie's 6-month shirts no longer fit over his gigantic head.

Charlie and I wore matching shirts on father's day and it was embarrassing for everyone.  

But not as much as this.  I'm sorry, 15-year-old Charlie. 

Bear Mountain

Before we got the car, as a selling point, I used the fact that we could use the car to do all kinds of things. Activities! Nilda has interpreted that to mean that we now have to visit a whole bunch of state parks this summer, and we're dragging Charlie along with us. We began by going to Bear Mountain this past weekend. Nilda and I instantly discussed how the place reminded us of the resort from Dirty Dancing, with a lot less dancing and a lot more Hispanics and Asians with open fires. I suggested we take one of the "easy" hiking routes around the lake. Nilda replied that I could go to hell and die.

 

We took Charlie to the carousel and his mouth dropped when he saw it.  It has Charlie's three favorite things: lights, other kids and things that move in a circle.  What's not to like?  We didn't talk about it, but I know Nilda was thinking about what it would be like to throw Charlie's first birthday party at the carousel, even though Charlie's not even six months yet.  That's because she crazy.

We then went to the mountain trailside zoo area, which is basically a mini hike through a wooded area with animals at various points along the way.  I was one of those dads that holds his kid while pointing and says, "Hey, look at this shit!" 

This is the picture that I made the weird dude with a walking stick take of the three of us.  You know someone's hard core when they go to the kid's part of the park with their own walking stick.  The trash can near the bears already had two diapers in it before we added Charlie's contribution. 

We take Charlie to places, but he sleeps through most of it.  What's confusing is that we're so happy he's sleeping that we don't even think that he's missing anything.  At this point, Nilda and I agreed that though we were having a good time, we were ready for the zoo to be over.  Then we saw the exit sign.  It was our favorite part of the zoo.

Coincidentally, Bear Mountain is located near Bear Mountain Bridge.  It was the world's longest suspension bridge when it was built, which I only know because I inherited my father's nerd gene.  Charlie may not be able to escape it.  It makes you irresistible to women. 

We stopped by the cafe at the park to feed Charlie and rehydrate with alcohol.  It's amazing how well beer and a baby go together.  Charlie had mango for the first time and went a bit overboard. 

We went back to the carousel and rode in one of the stationary benches, even though they're lame.  Charlie doesn't know the difference and loved it anyway.

My plan to get Nilda to go to Red Lobster was unsuccessful, but I'm considering playing the Father's Day card for that.  They just finished king crab season on Deadliest Catch and I only have so much will power.

Weekend Trip = Pictures

We went to a family bar mitzvah in Atlantic City and I took full advantage of it as a photo opportunity.  Well, as much as I could.  For some reason, they don't let you take pictures at synagogue on Saturday mornings.  I don't get it either.  The theme of the party that night was football jerseys and jeans with a tailgating cocktail hour.  It was as fun as it sounds.

They must only make Roethlisberger jerseys for Pittsburgh fans, because 98% of the people wearing Steelers' jerseys had the #7.

Being at a bar mitzvah brought back a lot of memories about going through the bar mitzvah circuit in seventh grade, when there were weekends where we'd have up to three bar mitzvahs to go to.  I used to wonder why only the kids would play the games with the band or dj.  But now I understand what open bar truly means.  I realized that when Charlie has his bar mitzvah, my 9-year-old niece Francesca will be 21 years old.  To put how far away that is in perspective, Francesca overheard Nilda and my brother-in-law talking about a girl who hit puberty, and Francesca asked, "Who'd she hit?  Who'd she hit?"

Charlie loves hotel rooms. Not really.  Here he is before he realizes that he can't nap outside of his own crib.

We had the afternoon free so we took Charlie to the pool for the very first time.  We thought he'd be scared or not like the cold water, but he loved it.  It's like one big bath for him to splash in.  I took him out and he wanted to go back in, which I know because he kept grunting when I took him out.  Or maybe he was just pooping. 

For the record, that is the most conservative swimsuit Nilda owns at the moment. Charlie got to sit in a restaurant high chair for the first time and played with Uncle Daddy. 

On Sunday, we took Charlie to the boardwalk for the first time.  Man, I wish that place was a tenth as cool as Vegas.  Charlie was cautiously intrigued by the ocean. 

 Charlie's hair is coming in.  Unfortunately, so is his gut.  Just like Daddy!  

• Andrew and I were in the pool throwing the kids around.  It was like two walruses fighting on the beach. 
• Now that he's getting better at rolling over, he can keep himself awake for longer. This will make things harder until he can stand up. Then we're fucked. 
• Nilda's life presently consists of waiting until she can watch the next episode of Downton Abbey.  That show is worse than heroin. 
• This year's interns make me feel old.  They've never seen The Neverending Story, they call the original Double Dare "old school," and some of them were born in 1990. That's just weird.
• We've started to let Charlie watch a little Sesame Street some mornings and he loves it. It's actually a really good show, which you forget as an adult.  They had an episode about bullying featuring the big bad wolf.  They had Mark Ruffalo teaching what "empathy" means and Eva Longoria teaching what "exquisite" means.  I'm hopeful the show will teach Charlie how to wake up after 6:00 am.
• God damn, Mad Men has been amazing this season.
• I'm beginning to be concerned that Charlie will have only child syndrome.  As the website you are presently viewing confirms, he is getting way too much attention for his own good.
• Charlie does not have the moves like Jagger.  Here's a video of Charlie listening to music. At first we were concerned that he was having some kind of seizure, but now we think he's trying to sing and dance. The first and only time Nilda tried to teach me to dance, she cried, saying "My poor children."  The prophecy comes true: