Wednesday, February 23, 2011

On Trial

Has it really been that long since I posted? This is embarrassing. Embarrassing, Nilda! Seriously, you should be ashamed.

I started a trial on February 5, which ended on February 14. Plaintiff's verdict, thank you very much. Then I had an oral argument before the First Department (appellate court) on February 17, and started another trial on February 22, which should go into next week. I need a nap.

The first trial was a pregnancy discrimination case, where we represented the woman who got fired three weeks after she told the company she was pregnant. In the current trial, we represent three former employees who are being sued by their former employer for starting an allegedly competing business. Here are a few of the things I have learned:
  • People are conservative at heart. They are inherently programmed to disbelieve and are skeptical of whoever is looking for money.
  • I treat opening and closing statements like a Heller Theory show: When you feel like you're losing the audience, speed up. Yes, I am working on talking slower. No, I don't like it.
  • Surprisingly, trials are much easier than the rest of litigation. If there wasn't so much at stake, I'd rather go straight to trial than deal with a God awful summary judgment motion.
  • Once you get to trial, most of the things you spent the previous years doing, like document production and depositions, are pretty meaningless. You can only do so much with a deposition transcript and exhibits are boring and break up the flow.
  • It's better to be the plaintiff, where you're fighting for right and wrong, but it's easier to be the defendant. You get to go second and you don't have any burden.
  • Picking a jury is fun. You get to pry into people's lives and they have to answer you.
  • Not surprisingly, lawyers who work at large law firms are inherently defendant-friendly. What is surprising is that for all their volunteer work and pro bono work, they still disbelieve all plaintiffs.
  • Juries like it when you say hello and thank you.
  • When you're working every night and all weekend and you can't get everything done, blogging has to wait. Sorry, world.
P.S. - Nilda and I went to Red Lobster for dinner on Sunday night (at the rocking hour of 5:00) and it was everything I hoped it would be. Why yes, I would like to add on an additional order of crab legs for $4.50.

4 comments:

the wife said...

I can't wait until this month is over, I've been talking to myself a LOT more than usual... :(

DorothyMantooth said...

I have felt the painful absence of The Most Important Blog In The Universe for far too long!

Although I, too, will admit that my default is to automatically be skeptical of all plaintiffs, I still say fleece those mofos for all they've got, B-Dub.

white, sigh said...

I almost hope someone discriminates against me so that I can hire you and then finally see you in action.

your wife said...

All hail the trial king! Congratulations, darling!